She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
