So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
