Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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