I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
