Don't you send me to vm
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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