Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
