we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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