Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
