i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
