Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
