I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize