Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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