i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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