if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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