May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
