she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize
