Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
