you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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