Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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