Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
