I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
