She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
