STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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