Your mouth is God's brothel.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize
