She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
We are two peas in an std pod
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
