My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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