Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize