i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Watching her eat just hurts me
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize