just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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