hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
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I need you to use more vowels.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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