dude i'm inner monologue high
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
