Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
