I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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