I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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