So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
