So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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