I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
