But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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