I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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