I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
