Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Randomize
