And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
