ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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