its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
