is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
