so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
