Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
