part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
