Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
why is half of my head shaved?
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