It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
