hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize