I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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