the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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