he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
