i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
