If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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